Chapter 19: We're Gonna Shoot You Up

The Loud Boys in The Lost Mine of Phandelver, A D&D Report

Photo by petr sidorov on Unsplash

With the physics of the universe adjusted, the elven wizard Jake and his sidekick from the local town had no issues in dispatching the rotting nothic. Working their way around the various caverns and tunnels of the Redbrand ruffians’ hideout, they eventually met up again with the other members of the Loud Boys. Kila and Uayak had been systematically and efficiently dispatching various skeletons in closets and dungeons, freeing prisoners and exploring stone nooks and crannies.

On reuniting, Uayak made everyone promise to never go off by themselves again. Agreement was unanimous. The party continued through the warrens of the hideout. Jake discovered the usefulness of his newly learnt darkness spell, particularly when he could sculpt the spell so that it avoided his companions. The resulting skirmish was more butchery than usual.

When Kila looked at Jake’s robes, the spots of blood were hard to see on the dark velvet, except where they covered the mysterious silver sigils embroidered along the hems.

Jake pointedly looked back at the big human’s armour, just as spattered with gore.

“Which way now?” said Uayak. They turned to look down the corridor.

“I think that’s the only door we haven’t opened,” said Kila, gesturing at a non-descript wooden door.

Sildar, the knightly sidekick, lifted one hand. “We should try to take whoever in there prisoner. We’ve been through this whole hideout, and we haven’t found the gang leader yet. He must be in there.”

Uayak’s brow furrowed. “Prisoner? What for?”

“So that we can let justice run its course. We need someone to put under trial.”

“Oh, justice,” said Uayak. “That’s all right, then. Sure. Justice. Very important. I’ll make sure it happens. Just watch the hallway for a moment, will you?”

A sharply shining stiletto appeared in the halfling’s hand, as Sildar turned to peer back the way they had come. Uayak eased the wooden door open and silently stepped inside. The cold stone walls of the chamber beyond were furnished with drapes of scarlet cloth. A comfortable-looking bed was pushed against the far wall, and a heavy, ornately carved teak desk seemed out of place. The matching chair was occupied by a short, dark-bearded human male in robes, studying a tome. He wore a princely mantle of ermine. A beautiful glass staff leant against his chair within easy reach.

In three quick steps Uayak crossed to stand behind the mage, stiletto poised delicately at his Adam’s apple. The mage had no time to move or react. His eyes darted sideways, looking for escape, but Kila loomed forbiddingly to one side and Jake, in his gore spattered robes, had taken out his spell focus and was clicking the cube of rainbow squares menacingly on the other.

“Hello, old friend,” said Uayak. “We were in the area and thought we’d drop in. I hope you won’t be too inconvenienced by our visit.”

The mage hissed a little. “You! I thought you were dead!”

At that moment, Sildar stepped in through the door. “There’s no one outside, but I have a bad feeling-”

Seeing the mage being held captive, he stopped in shock. “Iarno!”

Uayak was surprised enough to jerk his hand. A thin wound oozed droplets of blood to trickle down the mage’s scrawny neck. “What? This is Glasstaff. The Redbrands’ leader. He’s the one who ordered my… dismissal from the Redbrands. I owe him a few bruises. And broken bones.”

“No,” said Sildar. His hands shook a little, like his voice. “This is Iarno Albrek. We- the Lords’ Alliance- sent him here to establish law and order in Phandalin. My dear friend, what are you doing in the heart of Phandalin’s criminal hideout?”

Before the mage could answer, Jake spoke. “Isn’t it obvious? He’s double-crossed you and gone over to the Redbrands.”

A sneer appeared on Glasstaff’s lips. “Oh, Hallwinter. You were always so high-minded. Not at all practical, like my master the Black Spider. This was his idea, you know.”

“What was?” asked Kila, tapping his axeblade with his fingernail. “And who’s the Black Spider? Is he a Redbrand as well?”

“Not likely!” laughed Glasstaff, then froze as the stiletto pricked again. “He’s too intelligent to have anything to do with this lot of thugs. And do you really think I will tell you all his plans?”

“No,” said Jake. “You probably don’t know them.”

“Enough!” interrupted Sildar. The knight was glowering with righteous suppressed wrath. “We need to take him back to town for interrogation and to stand trial. You have helped the cause of justice immensely, Loud Boys, by finding this traitor.”

“All right,” said Uayak, suspiciously amiably. “Just check the hallway again, would you, Sildar? In case anyone comes along.”

The knight clanked out obligingly, not hearing Jake’s muttering as he passed. “What’s an NPC?” said Kila.

“Nothing,” said Jake.

With his free hand, Uayak rummaged in his many and mysterious pouches, extricating a small, silver bell. The tinkling was soft and ominous, and set the pitch as he began to sing to a traditional tune, often sung by farmers during the grass harvest and hayrick rolling at the end of summer.

We’re gonna shoot you up

We’re gonna chop you down

‘Cos we are here, to hurt you

“Goodbye, Glasstaff.” And with that, Uayak thrust the stiletto into the mage’s neck. Blood spurted as he died without a sound.

Sildar put his head around the door. “You’d better hurry up, no one’s- Hey!”

Uayak pushed past him. “Sorry, my knife slipped. Accident.”

“Yeah, accident,” said Kila, following the halfling.

Jake stopped and eyed the glass staff still leaning against the teak desk. “Can I take this?”

Read on chapter 20

Refresher on chapter 18

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